Well the ennui seems to have been replaced with something bigger and more.serious. So much so that I've got an actual issue on my hands. No, I can't write about it here. No, I'm not dying and yes, maybe someday I'll tell you about it. Possibly. This is one of Those Things and I'm going to have to just get on and deal with it. Not in the plan.

Why is it that if I don't love my job, I am up at 6am on a saturday to dial into work? because my over-achiever ways are hard to deny. I'm bitter about it; not so much the work because it's hard to complain too much when in pj's. But the principle of it all. The lack of real kudos for going the extra mile. The guilt I feel if I leave before 5pm. It's messed up in the big corporate way. Hate it.

So I've got to go look at houses today. Still feels surreal. Apparantly I can't live in an apartment forever?

Had a date last night. Rocky start for the following reason: when husband plans the date and makes a big-ish deal out of it, said husband is huge jerk for then going for drinks after work. Yes, we still made our date, but the point is that he should have said 'no, i have a date' which is what would have happened if we weren't actually married. I let him have it and then feared that I'd ruined the date. But how else will he learn? I don't ask for much and I'm not generally a demanding person. This has back-fired on me. He told me this week that he's realized recently that he takes me for granted. Then he goes and does this. Who is the bigger fool here? I don't really want to be the teacher all the time. I know that marriage is hard work, but I didn't realize in how many facets and how often. I envisioned big things, and missed the daily, which is often harder and difficult to define.
We saw Slumdog Millionaire and I get all the praise it's getting. Don't ask me to explain, I just really liked it. Especially grateful for the credit as that broke the tension a bit I felt. Long time since I've been at a film where people did not jump up immediately when it ended. I like that.

Rest of the weekend is a mad dash (reason #1 I'm up at 6 working) of open houses and a fundraiser and a basketball game and Chinese New Year. I'll be exhausted by Monday.