This is my last day at work in this offic

Man...I am leaving tomorrow. TOMORROW.

I wish I could feel something. Its like I'm made of stone. I stood on the corner of a street in Hackney last night and my friend cried and cried and I patted her back and repeated 'it's fine, you'll be fine, it's fine' until finally I just said 'see ya' and left. I maintain that it's my brain in denial so there's no sadness.

I should pack up my London desk to be shipped to my new desk in Boston. Instead I type here and slowly sip my big latte and nibble free toast with crappy English peanut butter.

I am sure I used to cry quite easily. I have tried to force some tears, just to save face and look human, but so far, nothing. Stone woman, that's me.

My boss (who is 6'5" and tough looking) just said that he hopes he doesn't cry today. I laughed and asked someone else to take a photo if it does. Because I am horrible like that.

one week to go...

This time next week I'll be in an airport. The majority of my belongings will be in a container (hopefully on a ship and even better...already on it's way across the Atlantic). I will be leaving London after 8 years.

There is a huge mixture of feelings about this. I'm excited, scared, sad, happy, stressed, bittersweet, worried, ecstatic. And more. I'm not as freaked out as I was when I moved here (God, that was an awful experience. Worth it, but still awful)

The goodbye process is stretching out, which makes me just want to get it over with. At the same time, I don't want to rush things too much either. It's going fast enough as it is. It's almost as though part of me just doesn't believe that I'm really leaving.

We had a leaving brunch last weekend and I didn't cry once. I had a great day hanging out with friends and eating lots of food and drinking too much red wine for a Sunday...but its just didn't sink in that I may never see some of these people again. That's it - I DO believe I'll see most of my friends again at some point, so this is just a 'see ya' not a 'goodbye'

A couple of weeks after we land, a good friend of mine who moved back to Australia...oh, 5 years ago will be in Boston on holiday. I get to see her and I'm sure I'll see her again over the years so there's no point in being sad that we're far apart. But so tickled that we get to meet up periodically as circumstances allow. Facebook may be a huge time-suckage means at work, but it really does help to keep in touch. Throw in email and a calling card & it's like I've never left.

I am seriously mourning moving from Richmond though. I will always miss walking here.