Day One

Well, this is very exciting. similar to getting a new piece of elctronic equipment and not wanting to tear the protective cover off just yet. A new blog. A new place to write. A determination to not be all angsty and stuff. I'm struggling to find what I feel is my 'true' voice and hopefully over time, I'll get there with this site.

Husband and I decided approximately 2.5 years ago that it would be a very good idea to live in the United States. Not a big stretch for me, as I am from there and I guess everyone assumed that one day I would return home. At that time we were not married and so once we had done that, it seem natural to explore the actual possibilty of moving. Boy, were we naive. It's a long and sort of boring story, full of ups and downs and quite a lot of swear words, but in the end we got the visa and he's now got a temporary green card and all is well in the world.

A little over two weeks ago, we flew to the states to get his visa stamped and get some other stuff sorted out. I worried for most of the flight that there would be a problem at immigration, but it was all fine and we were blinking in the sunlight in under 30 minutes. I felt weird for the first day or two - all unsure of our decision and suddenly missing our flat in London. Sometimes I get pangs of homesickness and it's the most unsettling of feelings because I don't even know what home I want to go to. That's how I felt when we arrived.
It went away though and as things started to go well, we both became very excited about it all. I met up with some old friends and I saw my family and it all started to feel very, very right.

Now I'm back in London for about 6 weeks to sort things out on this side of the pond and I'm anxious to get back. Which is far favorable to the feelings of being unsure. Either I am practical or I am fickle because my allegiance to here has suddenly been replaced by my desire to be there.

I am both full of fond memories for here while also containing a stomach of butterflies for there. I want to run and smile and also hide under the duvet. I am conflicted and thrilled...I am probably just about right for this time of big change.

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We got back on Saturday morning and fought the jet lag to see REM at Twickenham. I loved the show and thanks to the 3 red bulls I consumed, I enjoyed it all. The fact that we were home within 15 minutes thanks to the free bus service and also able to pick up take-away Indian food made it a near perfect night. Standing in the middle of the stadium with our plastic cups of beer I felt really happy that we still do this stuff. We haven't turned into boring married people yet. Although we did limit ourselves to only 3 beers each, so I guess we are more mature than we used to be.

So far this week I have made thai green prawns & thai fishcakes, salad with grilled halloumi and quorn and hamburgers with fries. The goal is to eat everything the freezer and pantry, so meals may be a little lacking in interest for the next few weeks.