Update - Stateside

I'm sitting here at my desk, reminding myself that this is one of those simple moments that I was desperately wishing for a few weeks ago. Normalcy and routine.

The move was stressful. It was emotional. It was exhausting. We were both pre-occupied with our own concerns and...well, it just wasn't a great time. I think we weathered it well but I'm not in a hurry to do that again.

I love the vibe of this city so much more. I love that it's getting bone-chilling cold and everyone forgoes fashion for survival. I love that we're going to watch a Christmas tree being lit this weekend. It’s easier to fit in here; I have a confidence I never had in the UK. Its easier and more difficult in a million different ways.
I had not really considered the move back, because like everyone else, I assumed it would be easy. And then was surprised that it wasn't.

Now I have a routine. I have a route to work, I have a place to get lunch. I even have a new friend from work (ironically she's from London), I have a gym and a work-out routine there. For the moment, things feel comfortable.

Husband is travelling for work - this is something else I need to get used to. In London I was the one who packed a bag and went to the airport. Here, I'm the one who gets to stay behind. I don't mind it. Yet. Being on my own here isn't quite like being alone in London. I went to the gym, I spoke with my sister on the phone, I had some groceries delivered and I activated my zip car. All these things mean that I am HERE. I live here. This is my life now.

Question I am asked a lot: Do I miss London?

Um, I miss saying that I live London. I miss the concept of London. I want to tell people that I have not actually lived here for the past 8 years; I have to stop myself from explaining that I used to live there and don't think that I never left, I'm not one of those who never left. It's pathetic really, but difficult to stop. I've had comments about my accent and I'm sorry to realize that it's going already. It took me so long to get comfortable there and I am sad that that part is over.

The other question I am occasionally asked: Do I want to go back?

No. I just want people to know that I was there for some reason. I miss my flat and I miss Richmond. But if someone came up to me now and said I had to go back, I would be miserable. That must count for something.

The other question that keeps coming up: When are you going to have children?

We just moved across the freakin’ ocean. Isn’t that enough for a while?